I'm beginning to think dishwashers don't like me. I mean seriously, all the attention they get around here. I use mine at least one, sometimes twice a day.
For me The Holidays were great because I did the usual hang out with all the Family while eating tons of food and having lots of fun at the same time. But at the same time the closer the Holidays got the more depressing it got because July 19th of '09 the woman I had fallen deeply in love with broke up with me. Hard all by itself to deal with and random bouts of depression all year after that. Which worsened the closer it got since fond memories of the previous years Holiday spent with her got stirred up .
New Years eve was fine for the most part up until the last 2 hours or so leading up to midnight. That for me was horrible since right at midnight is when the couples all give each other a kiss and wish each other a Happy New Year . Which is what happened , but I just sat there for what seemed like eternity all by myself in my cousins office . I must have had the worst look possible on my face since my cousins wife came over and gave me a big hug and said something encouraging to me to cheer me up. But I gotta say I was ready for the Holidays to be over at that point and go back to work. If you know me then it's got to be bad when I am looking forward to going to work.
I must say 2009 was a huge disappointment for me over all because of the roller coaster ride of emotions it was . I had a few good memories of last year . Sort of reconnecting with my dad , getting in one last trip out to CA to hang with Deb and Ben in there house there before there move , Deb and Ben moving to Ohio(YAY!) , even though it was very physical , helping the Lehman's on the big moving truck unload day. I also reconnected with a few old friends whom I have not seen or heard from in years through facebook and actually visiting. My friend Josh and his wife had there first child on Christmas eve.
Some downer moments included the obvious girlfriend breaking up with me which left me heartbroken and depressed . A cousin being diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer , Aunt getting very sick with multiple issues .Reoccurring issues with my father , which actually bring out more anger then anything. A family whom I am very very close to coming apart because of the father's adulterous ways . ( another subject that brings out a lot of feelings I hate having .) Everyone in the company I work for losing merit raises , some lost jobs. I got demoted , lost some pay and got put on the brink of being fired.
All this made 2009 a year to remember and forget because of all that happened in my world. A tattoo design is actually in the works to commemorate that year and help me get over it.
I am thinking positive that this year will be a great year!
PS- I sure did ramble for quite awhile.
I feel like I've been caught up in the daily humdrum of life lately. Laundry, dishes, laundry, driving kids here and there, laundry. I'm beginning to feel like nothing more than a mom again. Not that being a mom is a bad thing, because it's not. I'm honored that God entrusted these 5 children to me and I take that job very seriously. But there are some things I've been wanting to do that I've been neglecting. So I'm not going to neglect them so much anymore. I know I have time to be a wife and mom and work on these things. Just takes a little more organization on my part, but I know it can be done.
A minor household repair.
I like to read, but I don't. I feel guilty sitting down and reading when there is always something to do around here. So I've decided I'm going to work hard, but I'm going to find some time to actually read. I've started with one of the books that Steve gave me for Christmas...
The daily salad.
A quiet weekend in the new year. The crows keep their voices down.
The first day of 2010 I start a detox diet. The remains of the St. Germain liqueur will stay in the bottle until february...
This was a sad New Years for us. One of my co-workers lost her husband suddenly. He passed New Years Eve, Only 43 years old and the love of her life.
I don't like to, but I can imagine how she feels all to well. This sort of thing does not put one in party mood and I found myself needing to be near and around Jay. I admit I got clingy and selfish.
We stayed home. Jay played Videos games and I watched until it was nearly midnight and then our phones exploded with Happy New Year Texts. We celebrated by simply being together,
I have decided to start a new, personal traditon on New Years. No more resolutions, I gave those up last year.
This year I am going to count my blessings and acknowlage all the wonderful people I have in my life.
Happy 2010!
